You are not my enemy

I sat breathless. He couldn't be preparing to say what I think he was. Could he? No. Of course not. Not him. Not the man who had made such great strides in leading me well. Not the man who opened up the book of Galatians with me just days ago to encourage my heart. This …

A cup of mercy

A few weeks ago we got a phone call. Some loved ones of ours were walking through adultery. They didn’t know we had walked this road before them. They only knew we loved Jesus, and maybe we’d listen. My husband drove the two hours to sit before them and tell our story. He wasn’t sure …

Follow behind me, wicked heart.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9 My heart frequently whispers little lies. The world screams at me to listen to them. “You’ll never be as happy as other marriages now...” “You’ll always hurt, you’ll always feel this sadness...” Oh, wicked and deceitful heart. I can’t …

Joy robbers

Oftentimes there are things in my faith I find easy to agree with, but difficult to really walk in their truth. I’m often having to call out to God, asking him, “Help my unbelief...” Today while washing dishes I was listening to a quick podcast. The speaker said something so casually, but it’s truth struck …

Lost progress

I was starting to think that it was as good as it was going to get. A few months ago, talking to my small group, I told them my fears. “God doesn’t have to make me feel happy in my marriage...” I was thinking that maybe He wanted me to endure, not delight, in my …

Give me new eyes.

I sat down to pray. I’ve been trying to be more diligent about setting aside time to specifically appeal to God about my marriage, and my own stagnant healing. I do this in a journal, it’s usually barely legible as I scribble my heart onto the pages, convinced He’s following along. Today, I wrote something …

A voice.

I’ve let this place go quiet, meanwhile my thoughts have spiraled. I’m not someone who can sit in the silence and not get lost in it’s isolation and darkness. Like a web, it entangles me. Writing, and speaking my story, have been like a balm to me. They’ve helped me to process each step, to …

A work trip

2008: I remember fluffing my pillows on repeat. I fixed the headband on my baby girl's head, she was preparing to meet her daddy for the first time. She was almost four months old. I was obsessing over every detail of his homecoming. The welcome home sign, the house being perfectly clean, and everything in-between. …

The truth of now

I've found that living in the truth of now is important. After betrayal our thoughts often threaten us. It's easy to listen, and believe, everything our mind proclaims as truth. He doesn't love you.You're less than.Why even try? It's hopeless. But, what is truth? This was a question proposed during our Sunday sermon this past …

Redemption

We meet with our small group almost every Tuesday night. It's always an excellent discussion, no matter the subject matter. I'm surrounded by wise, godly men and women. Last night we discussed the goodness of God. What is it? It is hard to put into words. But, then the question was raised. How can sin …

My place of fear.

It amazes me how our experiences in life often shape our worship in the church. One of my favorite songs we sing at church is taken from Psalm 3. A cry for safety, pleading with God to rise up and protect. And, praise because God is faithful. I often find myself with both arms raised, …