You are not my enemy

I sat breathless. He couldn't be preparing to say what I think he was. Could he? No. Of course not. Not him. Not the man who had made such great strides in leading me well. Not the man who opened up the book of Galatians with me just days ago to encourage my heart. This …

Sustainable Healing

I've been thinking a lot since publishing my most recent post. What is my responsibility here?After feeling "stuck" how do you move forward again?What methods was I once doing that I quit doing?Am I feeding the negativity with my own thought life? I've come to the conclusion that this healing process, recovery work, whatever you …

Tangible Mercy

For a time, I felt like I needed a break from it all. Not that I ever stopped thinking about it, but it was all just too much. But, now, I'm feeling the need to write again. To get out all of my thoughts, and attempt to find some kind of order to them. I …

God’s still working.

So much has changed. So much stayed the same. I don’t always know how to fully process what I’m feeling. It doesn’t always make sense to me. We’ve moved. We love our new house. It feels like a home. Maybe it’s because he, my husband, feels like home again? Some days, that’s true. Other days …

Self sabotage

When certain patterns of unhealthiness have permeated your life for so long, they’re hard to recognize when they come back wearing a mask of comfort and familiarity. I really hate conflict. I’m a peacemaker at heart, and to a fault. It’s one of the reasons I willingly ignored certain behavioral patterns in my husband for …

To cherish

Infidelity robs you of feeling important. Nothing about your marriage feels sacred. Nothing feels special. The most intimate details of your life feel grotesquely marred . They feel like illusions, suddenly smashed to pieces, and with it, your very heart broken. I have wrestled with all of these emotions. I have tried to work through …

Misshaped Circumstances

When I first read that pregnancy test, just days after my husband's full confession, my heart sank. This was bad timing. But, it was God's timing. And, I resolved to trust in Him when my circumstances felt misshaped. I've quickly come to have confidence that this baby is a very intentional gift. An act of …

A credit card

I'm learning that feeling secure is a funny, fickle thing. Once there is a betrayal like infidelity, all it takes is for the wind to blow wrong, and your security feels threatened - no matter how good things seem to be. My husband and I have been talking about buying a home. This isn't a …