One week left.
That’s all we have to go. We started this relatively intense infidelity recovery program 12 weeks ago. Frankly, I’m tired.
It has been good. We’ve dug into issues such as triggers, the “why”, forgiveness, old habits, old hurts, and so much more. We’ve joined in weekly conference calls with others, also walking through this program step by step. We’ve spoken hard words, and had wounds carefully tended too.
Maybe that is why I’ve been more quiet on here than usual. I’ve had things I’ve wanted to write about, but I’ve been so exhausted. I’m ready for a break from the materials, the workbook reading, the deep thought, the reflections.
I’m ready for a good fiction book, and a cup of coffee.
Something to enjoy. Something to get lost in. Something with nothing to do with infidelity.
Last week, we discussed healthy sex, recovering and renewing our physical intimacy. We were supposed to write our own definition of what healthy sex is. We each jotted down our own ideas, and then we compiled them together in paragraph form.
I wasn’t looking forward to this activity. But, it turned out to be so helpful. I found it healing to listen to my husband give a description for how he now views sex.
And, I don’t want to lose what we’ve written. So, while it isn’t complete, and there’s much more to say, here is what we wrote:
“Healthy sex is first and foremost a gift from God, reserved for marriages. It is a gift to be highly valued, and enjoyed. It is a picture of oneness, a unique and special closeness that two people can delight themselves in. It is part of God’s creation, His good plan to multiply His people.
Healthy sex is an overflow of emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy. It deepens our friendship, closeness, and the unique bond that marriage is capable of providing. It creates a healthy passion for one another. A willingness to share one’s body unselfishly, esteeming your spouse more highly than yourself seeking their pleasure more than your own. It is a willingness to be vulnerable, laying aside fears and insecurities, to find pleasure in the security of the marriage bed.
Healthy sex is an adventure. It provides marriages with the opportunity for fun, joy, sponteneity, and laughter. It increases flirtatiousness, and is met with a level of care and consideration for one another.
Healthy sex increases your respect for one each other. You see not only their physical bodies, but you also seek to love who they are, what they desire, and you honor the way God sees them.
Healthy sex leads us into deeper worship of God. We recognize that it is a gift from Him, created for all of His good purposes. Healthy sex fufills biblical truth, such as the commands to love the wife of your youth in proverbs 5:18-19.
Healthy sex is a gift, a joy, and a responsibility.”
One more week left, and then maybe I can spend a few weeks resting. Enjoying. Soaking in the healing that has occurred. It has been a good, hard, twelve weeks. May we not forget these lessons, and may we use these new tools we have to heal, and press on.